slowly....

For the most part, on most days, life seems to be getting back to normal. I have moments that come on like a flood, I suppose I always will. I'm getting to a point where I can speak Conner's name and talk about him without completely falling apart.

The hardest moments are the quiet ones...when I used to feel him move; the rides home from work...when I would talk or sing to him; the sleepless nights....when I would just lie there with my hand over him, sending all the love I could.

Work has been hard and therapy all at the same time. Seeing those little smiling faces helps, most days. There are times when it's completely heartbreaking and I have to take a step back to regain myself.

I hope and pray that I get another chance to be a mother. It's the one thing in life that I've always wanted and have yet to accomplish.